.

So pretend I'm singing... and hold your ears cuz it ain't a pleasant sound!

Here it is, your 18th birthday and here I am - still not finished! Do I know me or do I know me??? This year it's those bastards at Geocities fault for chopping the allowable bandwidth so small that since early last year you can't even see all the pages you've got in their proper linkage because once you view 1 or 2 of the really busy suckers it locks you out for 24 hours - which WAS NOT the case when I started this project.

--- insert u-know-me expletives here ---

Okay okay I'll admit the rest of the blame is squarely on me of course because I simply haven't found a place to host all the pages - told you I got carried away LOL! Some pages are so big that just ONE exceeds the frikken allowable bandwidth. I could open 60 or 70 separate accounts but I can barely remember the names and passwords to the three I have right now. My new mission is to put them on a dvd because they never would have fit on a cd back when I first started and we didn't have a dvd burner yet - but since technology is WAAAAYYYY bloody faster than I am and we can burn 'em here now I'm thinking of making a totally self-contained, independent compilation - plus there's all kinds of places that could fit one... dvds, thumdrives, mp3 players... heck I bet your phone could hold a couple gigabytes! Damn cheap-assed geoshitties LOL!!!


But I guess I really shouldn't rag on them too much, after all they are free so what do I expect? I just wish they'd of changed the rules sooner so I could have been working all this time somewhere else. Looks like we're aiming for before you graduate university now LMAO!! Who knows, maybe by the time you have children I'll be able to make a movie out of the whole shabang hahahaha (-: Although by that time we probably won't be watching movies anymore and instead we'll just plug our y-pods into our skulls and the video will stream directly...

---insert spooky foreboding music---

heh heh heh

On the lighter side though, surely the internet isn't going anywhere anytime soon so when you're old and grey and I'm dead and gone you can make your grand kids spend their summer vacations crawling the net searching for the long lost birthday cache that was created in your honor way back in the early days. Back when people still had cables and modems and hard disks... When movies were made in... what was that places name again? Oh yeah, Hollywood - that's it, before that there Cally-fore-nigh-ay slid down into the ocean 'cuz all'em fancy big-headed folks kept gettin' fuller and fuller of themselves until the whole place just collapsed under the excruciating weight of all their egos...


The rest of the story will be up to you tell, me I'm off to send you an e-card and see if I can find the link and password to one of those web pages. If I find a set I might come back here sometime and post a link so you can see at least some of them before you're 20! In the meantime click Hobbes there and blow out your candles...

Much love,

.