Thhirrrrrttttttyyyy FFooooouuurrr

 

One would think that I would run out of things to say as a Birthday opener... 

 

And that one would be right LMAO!!!

A VERY HAPPY THIRTY-THREE

TO LOVELY YOU

with love, from me :)

Using green text this year, because it's actually been a pretty luscious summer

for us here at home for a change!
 (though certainly not elswhere in the province, nor the world at large for that matter)

True, the heat was insane and unnatural for the first part of spring,

and once the solstice was upon us it still hadn't let up―

but then sweet-as-you-please came a juicy July raining down the relief

that our pale, withering, foliaged friends needed...

Of course along with the yin of the super-lush must come the yang of balance

(because that's how nature works apparently)

So we also got mosquitoes the size of chihuahuas!

     Here is "Demonio Zancudo"

     caught by sacraficing many pints of blood

     and chunks of flesh...

     As the rains slowed

     we foolishly believed

     his minions would diminish

     in numbers―at least

     if not in size...

     But buy mid-August, they had evolved

     from mini menacing little vampire hounds

into walking, stalking zombie-bugs...  

   

Kinda gross, but funny!

These are pretty buggin' funny too ;p

Your current age is a significant number in modern numerology, 

one of the master numbers along with 11 and 22...

33 is a Master Number (Master Teacher) and resonates with the energies of compassion, inspiration, honesty, discipline, bravery and courage. 33 is also the number that symbolizes 'guidance'.

Number 33 tells us that 'all things are possible'

According to Wiki it's also:

The atomic number of arsenic

The highest degree in the Scottish Rite of Freemasonry

+33 is the code for international direct-dial phone calls to France

A normal human spine has 33 vertebrae when the bones that form the coccyx are counted individually

33 is, according to the Newton scale, the temperature at which water boils

On old school gramophone records, 33 refers to its revolution speed of 33⅓ revolutions per minute. 33s are also known as long playing records, or LPs

A song by The Smashing Pumpkins on their album, Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.

Also a song by Coheed and Cambria on their album, The Second Stage Turbine Blade

Hed PE also has a song titled "33"

... I wonder if there are 33 songs out there titled 33?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOOOOOOO YOOOOOOO!

HOLYCRAPYER XXXII !

HAAPEEE

BIRTH DAY 

DEEEEEEEEEEEER

BEEEGULS!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU :D

This year we're celebrating birthdays Covid-Style!

 I was late today! But only because big brother Google bought Blogspot, changed it to Blogger and then unceremoniously locked me out of my tribute to you pages... BASTARDS!! Apparently knowing the username, email address and password isn't enough for therowserm, nor is logging in on the same device for the past 14 years from the exact same location or with the same browser... 

29!29!29!

3,6,9

My nephew's 29

He-no-like tobacco but he like rum-fine...

                         Now the rhymes float 

                         'Cuz I'm an old goat

                         Coming late to the party in a leaky row-boat!

                                                                                                    Clap, clap...

(to be sung in that very particular tune- which I am positive you have heard before - but if your memory is already failing in your newly advancing years, just go to your mom and ask her to sing you the "Goose Wine" song - guaranteed she still knows it off by heart :)

Now I have to go - but I will be Schwarzenegger before your day has been fully Terminated!

Oh but wait, one thing first

didja know that

with today's exchange rate

you are only 21.75 years old?

That's only in Usa though, you'd have to be an Usian to take advantage

(something Usians don't even want to admit they are anymore)

 

Most guys are decent
You though, are so beyond that

Not just a kid - who's grown into a very nice man
Every way that one can
Practise has made you near perfect
Happier I could not be, to be
Even a little connected to your universe
Where goodness is a given

I am blessed (yet not religious) and
So very lucky

To be your next of kin
While so many are without
Even a single
Nice,
Together,
Young person-

Ever crossing their path
I am lucky I know
Great kids are a gift
Humanity needs more like you
To keep this world worth living in!

So you may recall yerant did rant a few years back

about what absolute BS the saying

"Nothing Gets Deleted from the Internet, Ever" was

Well, turns out I was (sort of) 

WRONG!

because if you really, really want something to be out there somewhere

it absolutely can be found. Not all of it mind you. Hardly any of it, truth be told.

Certainly not complete pages - flaunting all their fun and festivity, 

nor even a single joke from the former frippery-filled folio...

But you might find a duck.

That's right - 

A duck

One damn duck.

3 Years of webpages wonderfully woven (like a spider-on-speed) jammed with jpegs and gifs

and particularly peculiar personalized trivia;

The best of Yerants visual, but mostly mental humour, 

meant just for you - 

All of which she managed carefully, and kept age appropriate until your 18th birthday...

VAPORIZED

Save for that single duck.

And I did save everything, via invitation from "The Wayback Machine" - only that weeks effort in diligence turns out to have been in vain, because "Wayback" has managed to release almost none of your original birthday bonanza a decade later.

Barely a single byte - 

not kilo, mega, giga or any other byte

Just one flaming duck.

A teeny, tiny, taste of what was a truly triumphant tribute

(in-my-humble-opinion-of-course)

One

Damn

So go on now, click your Duck! 

I said it 10 years ago, and although what wonderful place it led back then I cannot say,

I will always come back to wish you a very, very 

HAPPY

DUCKIN'

BIRTHDAY!

He Be Twenty-Seven Years Now...

I can't bloody believe they deleted the awesome damn video I linked from last year! Pisses me right off...

But Anti-Madder Cannot Be Foiled - Moohaha!!

HA-HA !

Mind you, no one one else would know that the video had disappeared before I resurrected it since it's back where it belongs now... 

but I know...


That said, what I am of course here to say is

WELCOME TO

!!!!!  !!!! !!!  !  !  !!! !!!! !!!!!

Like a fine bottle of liquor you're now perfectly aged, perfectly mellowed, and far too valuable to just crack open and waste!

Did you know that a "26-er" is a uniquely Canadian slang term? Apparently 'mericans call a two-six a "fifth"... but a fifth of what? If one-hundred is the standard for percentages then how do they get 1/5 from 26oz? Seems to me to be closer to a quarter no? Man those guys, can't spell, can't count - what's next? They'll probably start renaming colors next!

You've just finished your first full year as a QCC member and still you're looking all fresh and healthy—well done Beagles! How do you do it huh? And don't say dog-spit because I know damn well you don't let them lick your face ;p 

mmm...beagle cheeks!

 So last year I had this whole plan to finally share this with you, by sending you a business card with a link to it when you were exactly 25 yrs 25 days and 25 minutes old (putting 25 hours in there would have buggered the theme so that was out) But I became obsessed with finding the original slew of web pages I created for you on Geocities and missed the "duckin' deadline"!

I know I should have just given them up for gone after the first couple of years they didn't appear on Wayback as it was promoted - but man it makes me crazy! If I had printed them out instead, like the old-paper-loving-fogey that I am, there would be tangible-readables in extistence that would have most certainly put a grin on your face. But because I believed that stupid saying that "Nothing Gets Deleted from the Internet, Ever... which btfw is

WRONG!

because if you really, really want something to be out there somewhere it absolutely can be permanently erased. All of it. Except for one single duck.

Not the whole page full of fun, not even a single joke on the page that went with said duck.

Just that duck

One damn duck.

3 Years of work, dozens and dozens of pages, pictures, absolutely cool personalized trivia, the best of Yerants visual, and totally mental humour, meant just for you - all of which she managed carefully to keep age appropriate until your 18th birthday...

Vaporized

Save for one duck.

And I did save them all, on a site called the "Wayback Machine" - only that damn site was useless, because it managed to keep none of those pages viable.

Not a single bit - 

kilo, mega, giga or otherwise.

Just one flaming duck.

One

Damn

Duck.

So go on now, click your Duck! That's what I said

Un - F r i k k e n - Believable!

♥♥ May all your days to come be as exceptional as this! ♥♥

I have no idea what it's called, but I thought it was brilliant and far more fitting than the customary Happy Birthday tune,

because no matter how creatively presented, that just wasn't going to cut it this year.

I had to find a truly impressive musical display to welcome you into the Triple C

Congratulations Keegan!
 

Welcome

to the

~ Century Countdown Club ~

Little known fact - I actually can carry a tune... unlikely as that seems considering the ear-splitting serenade I assaulted you with over the phone a few hours ago - I just happen to prefer carrying my tunes across web pages dangling off the end of my mouse pointer ;p

Now if you're wondering, "what exactly are the perks of club membership?" Well, first of all people who are barely a few years younger than you will now feel compelled to call you sir - you in turn will feel compelled to cringe a little on the inside, and possibly to correct their grammar if they manage to extend you the courtesy of more than 5 words in a row...


Next, you will never have to produce your ID in proof of your age again - at least not for the next 35 years. But later you will again should you want the perks that come along with senior citizenship.

You also get to begin the countdown for entrance into the HCC (Half-Century Chapter) which may seem like a no-brainer but it's actually a lot harder to get into it than it is to get into the prequel chapter of the Triple C (which the more seasoned members fondly think of as the "Cubs Club").

The HCC requires a level of fitness and patience that doesn't come, and isn't maintainable, quite as easily as it was prior to entry into the QCC chapter. I'm not registered yet, but that door will be blocking my path soon enough so I'll let you know what it's like once I get past the spooky bits!

But getting into either of those chapters is nothing compared to going for the full points. There's 3 more levels yet - yes THREE more. A good number of folks make it into the next chapter, and although not many mortals score enough points to make it to flashover, they do exist. But it's only the incredibly resilient, and masters of living who ascend closest to the bonus round, leaving their mark in Guinness. No one has actually made it to level 5 yet, the closest so far was Jeanne Louise Calment of France who, on Aug. 4, 1997 left her phenomenal score of 122 years, 164 days to beat!

Still, the Master's themselves - a.k.a. the 6•Bits - are a pretty elite bunch. They've earned the right to do whatever the hell they want, whenever they want - and they don't have to be bothered with mundane crap like worrying about what other's think of them, or like the accompanying side effects of eating ice cream for breakfast or cheeseburgers for dessert... They get to feel totally at ease wearing any ridiculously comfortable combination of clothing that strikes their fancy at any given moment - regardless of the weather or the occasion or the exaggerated heights of onlooker eyebrows!

Come to think of it, 6•Bits get back a few perks that haven't been allowed since before entry into the Cubs Club - like the thrill of blurting out really good curse words to shock people =) And you have to admit that hearing your Great, and my Gram, dropping an F-Bomb is seriously doggram funny! It's like there's a secret passage for members reaching the highest ranks that leads back to the original no-rules arena we were all born into...

But you, you're still a looooong way from pocketing the keys to that particular lounge

 It's still a good half-century hike uphill before you're licensed to pull your pants up into your armpits!

As always I'll be wishing you a GREAT TIME

(and taking note of your pits-to-pants status hehe)

And I will be back again next year, 
to remind you
that

In the Game of Life you must Reign Supreme!

Enter the initials KRP over JLC

and

  Dominate the Guinness Book of Records

in 2115!



I hope something makes you smile at least once during every one of the next 36,425 days
—and on that day I hope you'll you smile twice—
Twice as big, Twice as long!

Well Holy Crap!! 

You sir, are

→ → Two Dozen Years Old!!!  ← ←

Okay, okay - quit rolling your eyes - it's cute!
You know that that is not the kind of music I would ever actually listen to
(and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't either - but then I don't know everything... just A LOT of things hahah!)
 unfortunately neither Alice Cooper, Godsmack
or even Madonna
has Youtubed anything that I'm aware of that actually covers your early years better =)


BUT
as accurate as much of it may be

It's not true you know — this isn't as good as it gets!


While it is true, that all of the things that memory serves us up from when we were little really were as awesome
as we thought they were—they definitely aren't they only things that will ever feel that way.

Trust me, as far ahead as time goes you will always think of things from earlier days - including all the things that you have yet to do and see and feel and find out - and even fight about - with just as much feeling.

 

Believe it or not, life just keeps feeling like things were always so much - more 

And there is still a universe of things left to make you feel like each one of them was somehow more incredible, more interesting, or funnier, or harder, definitely easier and even better tasting! All happening back before whatever age you are in the future moment that memory hands them back to you ;p

I believe they call them "new experiences"

And right there in the rulebook it clearly says there's no limit on how many you're allowed in a lifetime -

So shovel up my nephew—You are a young man yet!!

 Norman Lear - kick-ass character creator of Archie Bunker, George Jefferson, Fred Sanford, Maude... is 93 now and the man is still going strong, and looks forward to getting up every day (the guy has kids ranging from 68 down to a pair of 20-year old twins!) When asked how he's stayed so sharp he says "When I talk to a 54-year-old, I'm 54. If I'm talking to a 20-year-old, I'm 20..." He went on to say that when you turn 90, nothing changes, except everyone around you changes.

Now That Rings True

 I can't speak for eveyone, but I do know that's exactly how loads of us feel as time passes, we see the outside changes as they happen - but inside we still think and feel like we did in our 20's.  Of course some of us may actually feel crunchier than we look too, but that's a physical anomaly that can be avoided at length, by simply by getting more than 8 minutes of exercise a day =)

Unless of course you have Spandex

 Spandex will enable you to get the abs you want

That will entice the buns you want...

All done in 8 minutes

—Flat—

 
Meh, Spandex Shmandex - who needs it? 

(especially on their birthday)


Far better to have Triple D's like these:
(a double dozen donuts - go on and say that 10 ten times without tripping on your lips!)

Hey I said "better" - NOT healthier... that's for the other 364 days in the year. Right? C'mon say it - we wouldn't want to be living on a luscious looking endless string of magnificently enticing & expertly disguised diabetes inducing delicacies would we? Would we?

Well I wouldn't.

No way - I'd pick these!

A double dozen 

                            rip-snortin' 

                                                deep fried 

                                                                       deep-sea-drops 

of crunchy heaven....

Disclaimer: 

All references implying my support of the excessive intake of unhealthy amounts of  - anything - are purely in jest...

So jest remember that if you end up weighing 4,000 lbs and a crane has to be rented to pull down a wall and haul your ass out onto a flatbed trailer aimed at the hospital for a quadruple bypass... well my boy, we ain't gonna make it!

I would on the other hand, make it a point to visit the cemetary every weekend and whip stale donuts at your headstone

while spewing lots of bad, bad words over you

should you dare to neglect my one and only nephew in any way, shape or form

so as to affect the arrival of any future birthdays - of which he

[ read YOU ]

will have many, many more of

to look back on

and to think of 

as awesome =)

You're 24 today, You are so very fucking loved—

 

—and without a doubt

~Always

  ~

 

7:32 A.M.

 

Much, much too early for me to begin your birthday serenade this year. If I did it would look something like this: happybirthdaytoyouhappybirthdaytoyouhappybirthdaydeeeeeeeaaaaaarrrrKeegaanhappybirthdaytoyou!

And that just won't do.

 

 

Your birthday wishes need to be pretty—

pretty interesting

pretty cool

—or pretty corny

or maybe pretty crazy even.

But most definitely "pretty something" and not at all ordinary

So I'm going back to bed, and dream something up - that way I can keep with tradition 

and post the verbal and visual onslaught in the wee hours right before the clock strikes midnight.

But before I go I do have to note that 7:32 is exactly backwards your age this year and your life path number... hmmm... maybe that will be the theme for your 23rd - I could look you up, and post predictions and then see how they pan out by your 24th...

NUMEROLOGY!

Okay, it's 8:08 a.m. can you hear my pillow whispering my name? I can... so with this short but sweet schwarzeneggerism - 

"I'll be back!"

My mission will be to return and complete this years tribute by 7:32 P.M. - no wait, it will have to be by 7:23 P.M. because if A.M. is backwards then P.M. has to be frontwards of course!



~ ☼ ~

                        Good afternoon....  

 

I are returned...                          

 

 

Oops, my mistake—I'm a lot older than that pic up there so back to sleep for me!

 

 

...it's barely lunchtime but consciousness is hard work...

 

...tic             

  ...toc

             ...tic

                    ...toc

 

♪ ♫ ♪ ♪ ♫ ♪  a little spooky music  ♪ ♫ ♫ ♪ ♪ ♫

 

 

All right, now that the sun is sinking we can get down to a little metaphysical mathematics!

Numerology: nu·mer·ol·o·gy (n m -r l - j y -). n. The study of the occult meanings of numbers and their supposed influence on human life. 

Doesn't the way they used "supposed" in there make that definition sound a little snarky? It always amazes me that no matter how many times our own history has proven that human beings know so very little about everything in general, the "supposed" brainiacs in each successive era continue to feel compelled to pooh-pooh that which they have yet to comprehend. Considering the fact that it's been on people's minds since the 6th century B.C. (and some of those minds were the heavy-weights of their day) you'd think Numerology would command at least a little feigned respect. Oh well, life's too short to worry about what the blood-letters and flat-earth lovers think right? Better to jump in the wagon with the wild and willing explorers of all things not yet understood - that way when the we-told-you-so cake comes around you can take a bow instead of a slice!

How it works - there's math and there's reading involved. I'm doing it for you because it's your birthday - anyone else reading this and wanting more details on how it works specifically can Google their ass across the Internet or read one of the bazillion books on the subject. Unless their birthday is the same as yours, then I guess I can't stop them from pirating your private prophecies. Nor would I - piracy is as old as Numerology I'm sure - and some shit's just needed to keep the world going 'round =)

The Numerology of being born on a 25th Day:

 

Strengths

You possess a sound, rational mind and keen insight. You are logical and intellectual in your approach to life. At the same time, you have fine intuition, which, if you are able to listen to, will guide you well through life. You are capable of investigating and researching subjects deeply. Your analytical skills force you to avoid taking anything at face value. This is where you are at your best: using your intellect to ferret out facts and information to deeply understand the matter at hand, and then make sound decisions. You would fare well in the sciences, teaching, philosophy, metaphysics and psychology.

You prefer to work alone and set your own pace. You tend to finish projects once started. You may possess artistic talent, especially in sculpture.

You are very sensitive and feel deeply, but you don't share your feelings easily and do not communicate them well. Work hard to develop and maintain deep and important relationships. Learn to share your emotions and deeper thoughts about life. Trust is the key to your emotional happiness.

 

Challenges

Your challenge is that while using your mind to analyze life's issues, you need to be self aware and remember not to neglect the heart. You can become easily imbalanced - favouring the intellectual, and this can make you aloof, critical, and -- at the very worst -- cynical. Do not let your intellect rule your life to the point that it obscures the fundamental human qualities of understanding, compassion and love.

Your Life Path Number: 7

The Life Path is the most important number in your numerology chart and is derived from your date of birth.

Revealing your most fulfilling direction and the major lessons you are here to learn during this lifetime, this number gives a broad outline of the opportunities and challenges you will encounter and the personal traits that will assist you on this journey.

The positive aspects of the Life Path number are the helpful skills and abilities you possess, and the negative aspects of the number are traits you must learn to balance.

Life Path Number 7:  The searcher and the seeker of the truth

Life path 7's have a clear and compelling sense of themselves as spiritual beings. As a result, the life path 7 is devoted to investigations into the unknown, and finding the answers to the mysteries of life. You may have noticed you are well-equipped to handle your task.

You possess a fine mind; you are an analytical thinker, capable of great concentration and theoretical insight. You enjoy research, and putting the pieces of an intellectual puzzle together.

Once you have enough pieces in place, you are capable of highly creative insight and practical solutions to problems.

You enjoy your solitude and prefer to work alone. You need time to contemplate your ideas without the intrusion of other people's thoughts. You are a lone wolf, a person who lives by his own ideas and methods. As a result, close associations are difficult for you to form and keep, especially marriage. You need your space and privacy, which, when violated, can cause you great frustration and irritation.

 

When your life is balanced, however, you are both charming and attractive. You can be the life of a party, and enjoy performing before an audience. You enjoy displaying your wit and knowledge, which makes you attractive to others, especially the opposite sex. 

But you have distinct limits. While you are generous in social situations, sharing your attention and energy freely, you are keenly aware of the need to 'come off stage' and return to the solitude of your lair. You associate peace with the unobtrusive privacy of your world. Therefore, intimacy can be difficult for you, because you guard your inner world like a mother lion does her cubs.


But all this privacy and solitude can cause isolation and loneliness. Be aware of developing emptiness in your life–that part of you that yearns for company and close companionship may be left unsatisfied. If isolation is brought to the extreme, you can become cynical and suspicious. You could develope hidden, selfish motives, which people may sense and which may then cause them discomfort around you.



You must guard against becoming too withdrawn and independent, thus shutting out the love of others and keeping yourself from experiencing the true joy of friendship and close companionship. You must especially watch out for selfishness and egocentricity, thinking of yourself as the center of the universe, the only person who really matters. Social contact gives you perspective on yourself and on life, while too much isolation can make you too narrow and even shut off from the rest of the world.

Secretly,

you may feel jealous of the easy relationships formed by others; 

it's possible you may perceive others

as less inhibited than you,

or more free to express themselves.

You may harshly criticize yourself for not being more gregarious,

powerful, or capable of greater leadership.

 ( if so Beagz, knock it off ! )

Your challenge in life is to maintain your independence  
without feeling isolated or ineffectual.

You must hold fast to your unique view on the world,

while at the same time remaining open to others and the knowledge they have to offer.

  
 With your abilities to learn, analyze and seek out answer's to life's important questions, you have the potential for enormous growth and success in life. Pythagoras loved the seven for its great spiritual potential.

By the time you reach middle age, you will radiate refinement and wisdom!

Personally I think you're there already, not the middle-aged part of course—

but you are definitely transmitting talents beyond your years.

The real question is, when you are middle aged will you finally have had the opportunity to read any of this??

Only time will tell...

! ! Happy 23rd ! !