Planet Nephu: August 2014

Well Holy Crap!!

You sir, are

→ → Two Dozen Years Old!!! ← ←

Okay, okay - quit rolling your eyes - it's cute!
You know that that is not the kind of music I would ever actually listen to
(and I'm pretty sure you wouldn't either - but then I don't know everything... just A LOT of things hahah!)
unfortunately neither Alice Cooper, Godsmack
or even Madonna
has Youtubed anything that I'm aware of that actually covers your early years better =)

BUT
as accurate as much of it may be

It's not true you know — this isn't as good as it gets!

While it is true, that all of the things that memory serves us up from when we were little really were as awesome
as we thought they were—they definitely aren't they only things that will ever feel that way.

Trust me, as far ahead as time goes you will always think of things from earlier days - including all the things that you have yet to do and see and feel and find out - and even fight about - with just as much feeling.

Believe it or not, life just keeps feeling like things were always so much - more

And there is still a universe of things left to make you feel like each one of them was somehow more incredible, more interesting, or funnier, or harder, definitely easier and even better tasting! All happening back before whatever age you are in the future moment that memory hands them back to you ;p

I believe they call them "new experiences"

And right there in the rulebook it clearly says there's no limit on how many you're allowed in a lifetime -

So shovel up my nephew—You are a young man yet!!

Norman Lear - kick-ass character creator of Archie Bunker, George Jefferson, Fred Sanford, Maude... is 93 now and the man is still going strong, and looks forward to getting up every day (the guy has kids ranging from 68 down to a pair of 20-year old twins!) When asked how he's stayed so sharp he says "When I talk to a 54-year-old, I'm 54. If I'm talking to a 20-year-old, I'm 20..." He went on to say that when you turn 90, nothing changes, except everyone around you changes.

Now That Rings True

I can't speak for eveyone, but I do know that's exactly how loads of us feel as time passes, we see the outside changes as they happen - but inside we still think and feel like we did in our 20's. Of course some of us may actually feel crunchier than we look too, but that's a physical anomaly that can be avoided at length, by simply by getting more than 8 minutes of exercise a day =)

Unless of course you have Spandex

Spandex will enable you to get the abs you want

That will entice the buns you want...

All done in 8 minutes

—Flat—

Meh, Spandex Shmandex - who needs it?

(especially on their birthday)

Far better to have Triple D's like these:
(a double dozen donuts - go on and say that 10 ten times without tripping on your lips!)

Hey I said "better" - NOT healthier... that's for the other 364 days in the year. Right? C'mon say it - we wouldn't want to be living on a luscious looking endless string of magnificently enticing & expertly disguised diabetes inducing delicacies would we? Would we?

Well I wouldn't.

No way - I'd pick these!

A double dozen

rip-snortin'

deep fried

deep-sea-drops

of crunchy heaven....

Disclaimer:

All references implying my support of the excessive intake of unhealthy amounts of - anything - are purely in jest...

So jest remember that if you end up weighing 4,000 lbs and a crane has to be rented to pull down a wall and haul your ass out onto a flatbed trailer aimed at the hospital for a quadruple bypass... well my boy, we ain't gonna make it!

I would on the other hand, make it a point to visit the cemetary every weekend and whip stale donuts at your headstone

while spewing lots of bad, bad words over you

should you dare to neglect my one and only nephew in any way, shape or form

so as to affect the arrival of any future birthdays - of which he

[ read YOU ]

will have many, many more of

to look back on

and to think of

as awesome =)